Proverbs 31:12

With the astronomical divorce rate these days, a few things have become clear about marriage. God created marriage; he created Adam and Eve for each other. Since God is the one who created marriage, don’t you think it would be wise for us to follow His plan, instead of our plan or the world’s plan? That makes sense to me because if you have a question about the way something works you ask the inventor! The Word of God has specific instructions on how to be a godly husband or wife, on how to be a team that compliments and encourages each other. So many husband and wife “teams” are really arch rivals; they’re not on the same team at all. Your mate should be the one person in the whole world that you know you can count on, that you can trust.

The world has messed up marriage by doing it their way, but I have witnessed many successful marriages that are only thriving because they are modeled after the Word of God. As women, we can learn about being the wife God intended us to be in passages like Ephesians chapter five as well as from the Proverbs 31 woman. Again, I want to stress that you don’t necessarily have to married now to learn about being a wife; the more knowledge you go into it with the better.

Proverbs 31:12 says She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. At first glance, this scripture may seem simple or less “loaded” than others but not so. You might think, “Okay, good and not evil…yeah, that’s easy. I’m not an evil person,” but some of your actions may be evil at some time. Of course that’s hard to admit that you would do evil to anyone, especially your husband, the love of your life. Let’s look at the definitions of evil from both the Webster’s Dictionary and from the Strong’s Concordance:

evil (Webster’s) – morally bad or wrong; causing injury or any other undesirable result; marked by misfortune or distress; low in public esteem.
evil in Hebrew is ra’ (Strong’s Concordance) – This word combines together in one the wicked deed and its consequences. While the prominent characteristic of the godly is loving-kindness, one of the most marked features of the ungodly man is that his course is an injury both to himself and to everyone around him. Ra’ is also used to denote evil thoughts, evil words, and evil actions.

I like the part of Webster’s definition where it says causing injury or any other undesirable result. When you do something “evil” it will most likely cause injury, seen or unseen. Even though many men won’t admit it, their feelings can get hurt very easily, whether it’s because of an unkind word or a look or the tone of voice in which you say something. My husband is always telling me that it’s not necessarily what I’m saying but the way I’m saying it that hurts him. I don’t think you would cause intentional physical injury to your husband so be vigilant not to cause “internal” injury to him either, intentional or unintentional.

The Strong’s Concordance tells us that the word evil in this context can also mean evil thoughts, evil words, and evil actions. Remember that your thoughts lead to words which lead to actions which lead to habits which form your character. God is constantly reminding us to renew our minds throughout his Word, and that is so vital because thoughts can potentially become a part of your character, good or bad. We need to cast down any thought that is contrary to God’s Word and that includes “evil” thoughts about our husbands. For example, your husband may ask you to do something so simple as to iron his shirt for work, and you think in your head, “What? Can you do anything for yourself? Are your hands broken or something?” You better cast that thought down before you allow yourself to dwell on it, and it festers into some ugly attitude!

This Proverbs 31 woman does her husband good and not evil all the days of her life. Here are the definitions of good from both the Webster’s Dictionary and from the Strong’s Concordance:

good (Webster’s) – having desirable or favorable qualities; morally excellent; virtuous; well-behaved; proper; excellent in degree or quality; unspoiled; fresh; healthy; striking or attractive.
good in Hebrew is towb (Strong’s Concordance) – means good; favorable; festive; pleasing; pleasant; well; better; right; best. This adjective denotes “good” in every sense of that word.

Look at some of the words Webster’s uses to define the word good: virtuous, well-behaved, unspoiled, etc. These types of characteristics should be our goal, not only in our marriages but in our lives as well. There are some general attributes we should all strive for in our marriages, but then every person is different making every marriage different. “Good” to my husband may not be what your husband wants or needs, so as a wife, you need to figure out what is “good” for your man.

And finally, this woman was “good” to her husband all the days of her life. She was good to him when she felt like it and when she didn’t feel like it; she was good to him when they were on cloud nine and when they were at each others throats. All day, every day! I’m sure she struggled, as she was human, but her heart was in it…and I’m sure she had a lot of help from G-O-D!