Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 37: Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. – Romans 8:35 &37 (KJV)
You know what? Life isn’t always easy.
And contrary to fairytale endings, life after marriage doesn’t always live up to the “happily ever after” ideal. In fact, marriage can be quite an adjustment. Whereas you once had only your own desires and setbacks to face and you could face them any way you chose, now you have to take on the desires and setbacks of your spouse as well. This means learning to deal with them in a way that not only benefits you but benefits your spouse as well.
Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not a gloom and doom situation. Marriage is a beautiful God-given thing. In fact, God has blessed you with marriage because he believes that you are prepared to do some growing up, and marriage involves a ton of that! You see, our natural self just wants to satisfy itself. And as a single, that’s not too hard: you decide what you eat, what you do, what time you go to bed, what you buy, what you don’t, etc. Well, it just doesn’t work that way any more – he might want Chinese and you might want Italian. What do you do?
First off, we need to separate the facts from the truth. The fact may be that you are struggling in some areas in your marriage and circumstances are challenging. But the truth is found in God's word, and it always overrides the facts of our circumstances.
The verse above reminds us that nothing (even marital problems) can separate us from God’s love for us. And it also tells us that we are more than conquers before any problems that come our way because Christ went ahead of us and paid the price on the cross to insure our victory here on Earth. Now, this doesn’t mean we won’t ever have any problems, but what is does tell us is that we as believers have the God-given power to arise victoriously from any situation if we just trust in and follow God.
Hallelujah!
Now, what do we do to get this kind of victory in our marriage?
Go to God, not to your mom, not to your best friend. Go to God first. Get started by praying and reading God’s word.
One thing that most marriages struggle with at first is that problem I mentioned earlier of the struggle of what you want/need vs. what your spouse wants/needs. Conquering your selfishness is a good way to improve your marriage.
The word says:
For brethren, ye have been called unto liberty, only use not liberty for an occasion of the flesh, but by love serve one another. – Galatians 5:13 (KJV)
When Jesus was here on Earth he showed his love by humbling himself and loving others by serving them. He still knew that he was the child of the living God and he did not compromise his faith, but he served to be a witness of God’s love for his people.
We are called to do the same. We are to humble ourselves and serve, even if our spouse doesn’t reciprocate. This means you may have to be the first to apologize or offer to do something for your husband when you’d rather be doing something for yourself. Start with the small stuff. Sacrifice your craving for Italian and go eat Chinese joyfully knowing that you are planting seeds of love in your marriage. When you act in love, it spreads. Ask the Holy Spirit for guidance in your particular situation, and make love a daily, non-negotiable habit. If you do so, your marriage will be more prepared to face future obstacles that may require you to sacrifice more than pasta.
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